Category Archives: Reviews

Please, Buzz Lightyear, Don’t Kill Me!

Movie theaters are loud, colorful and crowded. For the average person, this is a good thing. For parents of autistic children, it’s a nightmare.

AMC Theaters is entering its second year of Sensory Friendly Films: movie afternoons where parents can bring their highly sensitive children to screenings with lowered volume, house lights on, and a seating-optional policy.  It’s also the only time food doesn’t have to be smuggled in, as moviegoers are encouraged to bring food from home to cater to special needs diets so common to the autistic/developmentally-challenged/otherwise special young community.

Academia Gets Cronked

Web humor seems to spew out of the subject of college, from CollegeHumor’s prank wars to PartySchoolTexts.com to fake Facebook college groups, but rarely does a funny site poke fun at the institutions themselves. Rife with administration bureaucracy and run by self-proclaimed intellectuals, colleges and universities are surely worth a jab for being the squarish bookworms of society.

Enter The Cronk of Higher Education, a satirical news site about ridiculous issues in higher education, overblown academic conferences and fake intern/slave-wanted advertisements. In short, it’s The Onion with a PhD in post-post-modernist structuralism in Beowulf. The movie.

Fake article topics range from tech-savvy colleges that admit students via Evite and college fairs that draw 3,000 parents … and zero students. From revered professors emerita to jaded school administration staff to the broke PhD going on a 6th year of candidacy, The Cronk sheds a lighter, more ironic light on academic culture than the iron gates of higher ed usually allow through.

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Stoptime Ragtime Happyfuntime

If you know anything about ragtime, you know what it’s like to bounce up and down in your seat as it fills the room. One of the jolliest (for lack of a less-corny word) forms of music, ragtime is my favorite genre of instrumental music. It’s loud, it’s strong, it’s playful, it’s jarring, it’s badass.

Piano sheet music can be pricey, and since mommy and daddy don’t pay for my piano lessons/expenses anymore, I’m on my own to keep the skill alive. I signed up for MusicNotes.com’s free sheet music download of the month a while back, but most of the free music has been hokey, unknown seasonal stuff that no one would buy anyway. March’s was some Irish folk jig.

But for April, they’re offering a free, printable copy of Scott Joplin’s “Stoptime Rag.” I thought it was an April Fool’s Day joke at first, but there it was, free for piano or guitar. (Guitarists who play ragtime… I can’t even comprehend how much time you must sit in your room just getting stride down.) And even though my printer is out of black ink… I’m determined to go mooch off of someone’s printer in the next few days to start learning this song on my electric piano. (Honkey-tonk upright would be ideal, but cut me some slack, I live in an apartment.)

The “stoptime” component of “Stoptime Rag” is said to have been Joplin’s way of indicating cues to dancers. There’s no dancing here, but here’s a good recording of the tune.  Hit play and minimize the window unless you want to have a staring contest with the king of rag.

Since I’m bashing on all things hokey, it’s only fair to admit that I’ve done my share of hokey gigs. Here’s my attempt at a Scott Joplin classic, “Maple Leaf Rag,” in 2009 dressed as a cowgirl for a western-themed speech tournament awards ceremony at Glendale Community College.

For those of you who have an ear for this, please keep in mind that I played this tune much more fluidly ten years ago, as an eighth-grader. Much thanks to Scott Stalnaker for shooting and editing out the parts where my out-of-practice hands could no longer keep up with the pace.

Any requests?

Funk’s “Supergirl” = Girly Goody Two Shoes

I’m conflicted.

I recently published a scathing review on Amazon of a feminist-y nonfiction book titled “Supergirls Speak Out: Inside the Crisis of Overachieving Girls” by Liz Funk.

On the shelf at Borders, the title spoke to me. I’m currently on a quest to stop being such a damn perfectionist and academic marathon runner in hopes of enjoying other aspects of my life. Perhaps I could learn something by diving “inside the crisis of overachieving girls,” I thought. Surely, I would relate. Surely, the self-proclaimed recovered “Supergirl” would be a fascinating, brilliant author. She must know the secret to letting go of perfectionism and finding the zest in life! I shelled out the 15 bucks.

Maybe it was the over-explained run-on sentences. Maybe I should have given her a little more benefit of the doubt, due to her age. Maybe I shouldn’t have cared so much that pink was the dominating book jacket theme.

And Books Are Not Enough

I’ve ordered too many outdated “How to Write a Book Proposal” guides from Amazon to admit and still keep my dignity.

Do I have a book in the works? Sure, along with the umpteenzillion other modern-day writers on the Internet who spend more time SEO-ing their blogs than actually updating their content. Of course, mommy bloggers have it made, with their e-audience on the upswing. Plus, kids give you good, easy material.  Hell, one of my favorite friends has a rather upliftingly snarky mommy blog of her own: The Comical Misadventures of Billie Lo. Do yourself a favor and bookmark it.

Back to the book. Print is dying, wah wah wah, we know. I’m torn over the issue, too. No pun intended. My boyfriend likes to read the bathtub, and that’s a legitimate dilemma. But it’s only a matter of time until they come out with Kindle-proof water.

If you’re interested in reading about the future of e-books, this post is not about that. Check out Books in the Age of the iPad, by Craig Mod for that discussion.

But what shall we do with the zillions of existing books on shelves everywhere? Cut ‘em up and make art, of course.

A special note to librarians all who hold holy the physical book: While you may feel the neckchain from your reading glasses slowly tightening around your esophagus with anxiety with the thought of stripping and destroying books, here’s a disclaimer. All book sculptures featured here have passed my “Is it wrong, or is it awesome?” filter.

Wrong: Using the book as merely a physical object, blindly using pages as origami, re-purposing book covers as ping pong paddles and setting the remnants ablaze with an artistic flourish, etc.

Awesome: Creating a new, meaningful piece of art using the physical book and its: contents, literary context, spine text, illustrations, etc.

Books are bigger than themselves, and resulting art should reflect that.

Onward ho. E-books may be taking over school textbook-land, but the world of altered-book art is flourishing.

What’s an altered book?

A type of art that uses books as the primary raw material.

Here are some of my favorites.

Book-Shelves by Jim Rosenau

Artist’s statement: “I was raised with a near-religious relationship to books. Never write in a book. Don’t lose someone else’s place. How to protect its vitally-important spine. Rules pertaining to the avoidance of moisture. And, like all observant families, we were taken once a week to the library for worship. … Rigid limits like these appeal to my creative process. I do not respond well to open, fluid media where anything goes. I prefer to be put in a tight box from which I must struggle to escape.”

A comedy writer, carpenter and book-lover, this guy take a power drill to once-loved books with style:

Education and Ecstasy

Dictionary Shelf

Carefully and thematically re-imagining these titles into functional art, I’m already racking my brains for how to save up the few hundred dollars to buy myself one of these as a birthday present this year. Twenty-something can be a milestone, right?

While the above bookshelves are my favorite due to their simplicity (and feasibility for actually owning), let them serve as a warm up for a much more intrusive book-altering procedure: the book autopsy. Akin to a surgeon’s work, cutting into flesh and blood (read: pages and margins) should only be practiced to improve the life of the one under the knife. The following book sculptures have leapt off the dusty library shelf and high school required reading list and into an open field in which they truly may be judged by their cover.

Book Autopsies by Brian Dettmer

Artist’s statement: (This guy seems to be so much of an artist that he doesn’t even write about himself on this Web site. So, here’s a metaphorical sound byte from an interview he gave to an online artist review blog.

“…the book already contains meaning in its content which shifts when exposed in small components or new relationships.”

Webster’s New International Dictionary, 2nd Edition

Brave New World, Aldous Huxley

Not far from the oppressive, privacy-trodding regime outlined in Huxley’s eternally-meaningful novel, this naked view of the world inside its book might be a bit much for the literary symbolists.

Along the same lines, the book autopsies below pull antiquated illustrated guides and encyclopedias out of their long-forgotten abyss.

Cut Books by Alexander Korzer-Robinson

Artist’s statement: “Through the artistic work, these books, having been stripped of their utilitarian value by the passage of time, regain new purpose. .They are no longer tools to learn about the world, but rather a means to gain insight about oneself.”

Himmel, Erde, Mensch I

Valley Of Beasts, Meyers Konversationslexikon, 6th ed., 1905 (talk about reviving an out-of-date schoolbook)

Korzer-Robinson has a background in psychology and uses these dissections as an experiment into the “inner landscape” of the viewer. Some may think “woah, existentialism.” I think “ooh, innards.’

Several of Korzer-Robinson’s pieces are available at Gold Bug, in Pasadena, an eccentrically-delightful and somewhat sinister art store in Pasadena, California.

Okay, my intellectual brain is hurting, too. And the industry of cutting up books wouldn’t be worth it if we didn’t have some cute, whimsical accessories to reach the masses, right? DIY Etsy-seller knows satire:

Ironic Lil’ Handbag by MandaLanda

Artist’s statement: I love taking old books and turning them into purses. I even take the gutted out pages and turn them into card wallets and coin pouches. And if that wasn’t enough, I make brooches, hair clips, headbands, and necklaces featuring images from pages! … I also love making slippers and fun summer dresses!

Whatever floats your boat, but I dig your juxtaposition.

And because I simply can’t leave out one of the more successful, famous and intricate book artists alive today…

Book Sculptures by Su Blackwell

Artist’s statement: Paper has been used for communication since its invention; either between humans or in an attempt to communicate with the spirit world. I employ this delicate, accessible medium and use irreversible, destructive processes to reflect on the precariousness of the world we inhabit and the fragility of our life, dreams and ambitions.

Alice in Wonderland

More like Alice in Bookland.

Book sculptors everywhere, I dig you. You create new meanings from old ones, and you’re good at cutting paper. I’m not good at cutting paper.

Jim Roseau waxes poetic on his Web site:

[O]ur books are decor, the wallpaper of the erudite. Behind the talking heads of news shows and infomercials lurk rows of impressively bound books. Similarly, our personal libraries signal to guests who we are and who we wish to be. If we save them long enough, they end up, like a photo album, revealing how our present selves came to be.

I’m still searching for someone who does this in Braille.